How quickly an apple rots after being bitten into

When eaten all the way into the core, it shrivels up into nothing in no time. Then I can understand the wastefulness of temptation. the fruit could be golden, juicy, shiny. Until the teeth rip apart the flesh. not so fresh anymore. ruined. Men love to bite. When I was young go had an uncle who bit into my cheek. It was bleeding. I dont remember that, I was told. It was a right of passage in the family, apparently. I am thinking about the propensity I have to make things ugly. Do I do it actively, or is that the fact of it. It seems I can turn anything to dirt with my words. I can also speak life into existence. I also eat apples. I also pick things off of trees. Like leaves when I walk passed them. I also deserve to eat. Food has been a tricky subject for me because I always struggled with my body image and weight. As a young girl I was fat, and reminded. A chubby baby. Fat before I even chose to be. When I got to high school my best friend went on eggs and oats diets. I didnt always have food at home. So when I did I ate it all at once. That was a sort of diet. When I started drugs was my favourite time because I could go days without the agitation of hunger. Then food just began to scare me. The way it rots and moulds and decays if left out in the open. something off about it. Ever since after the outrage of the epidemic. Something strange changed that year. In me. Before then I staged a play called Machiavelli. The character of eve ate the apple, on purpose. And how quickly things rotted after that- I dropped out. Dropped off the tree, rolled far away. Started recording videos sucking off my 42 year old boyfriend who was a heroine addict. To get away from my mother working from home. i didnt complete my theatre degree to deal in the theatricality of real life. How could anyone teach me through a screen. The apple already bitten into and frozen. Since then my laptop has been a great companion.